Something new; an exciting change; a complete alteration of the old. Refreshing, enlivening, uplifting. But with all of that excitement can come something else that we don’t fully expect. We can get blind-sided. Often what joins us on our transformational ride are feelings of loss and grief for what was left behind. That newness 
and Light can become a trigger for something not in our original game plan.
I came to this understanding first hand today. I have recently embarked on a new, exciting chapter in my life. On June 5th, I left my lovely little hometown of Easthampton, Massachusetts and drove across county with my two dear furry friends to join the love of my life in his home in California. Filled with excitement, bubbling about the change, and looking forward to the new, I was amazed to find the arrival of something else shortly after my arrival. Something underneath began brewing, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t understand it at the time, but it was my mind and body’s reaction and resistance to the drastic change. My “old” world and my “new” world couldn’t be more opposite. From the traffic to the scenery to my immediate surroundings to the people. On one level my mind craved familiarity and was completely resistant to the change. But today I finally understood that what was brewing underneath was the presence of a certain sadness that had been quietly running in the background and, until that moment, totally perplexed me. I now saw that it was rising from a deep sense of loss. Perhaps a loss of the familiar, of certain day-to-day habits, of a particular way of seeing myself in the world.
Maybe that is why we don’t embark on those new projects or make the changes that, in the long run, would be for our own good. Perhaps the body senses the change, knows the upcoming challenges, and then we put on the brakes. We fear the possibility of experiencing loss of the familiar and choose to stay just where we are. It’s safer and not so scary.
Boldly going forward and making the changes that are the best for us takes a lot of courage. But it also takes love and devotion and gentleness with ourselves as we adjust.
With this new awareness, I will now embrace the feelings of loss and accept them all as part of the experience. That is the only way that I will be able to enjoy and appreciate the richness and fullness of my “new” life.
So I suggest that the next time you are faced with any offering of change- big or small- instead of turning away, acknowledge the fear and ensuing emotions and know that they are all part of the process—the process of truly LIVING; the process of truly BEING; the process of connecting to ALL THAT IS.
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